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The True Account Of Whoever

by Ethan Silver

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1.
Joan 07:35
I always felt a part of me was someplace else. One eye is always vacant, is this cowlick half his? I'm searching for that part of me that’s someplace else. This mind is always vacant, is this hair-lip half mine, half his? I'm finding out in the worst way; Finding out in the worst way I'm not fine. The moonlight in your eye line, Your eyesight is fading with old age. Your hand span is unlike any other I’ve seen this side of the equator. I start by losing sleep, then I'm too sick to eat. I haven’t left the house in weeks. I'll be seeing you around town, in car windows, in cafes, To remind you of the knowledge we were born with. Are these your footprints in the soft ground? Is this your shadow that follows me around? I found out in the worst way.
2.
Please don’t shut it all down, please don’t. Please don’t let it all out, please don’t. Please don’t say you’re sorry when you’re not. Please don’t let me light you up. Please don’t hurry off, I plan to wait around. Please don’t smile when I frown, Because people need to think we’re walking a straight line: Parallel, together, side-by-side. People need to think we’ve found the time to synchronise our lives, But yours and mine collide. Please don’t let me go. Both of us know, both of us know. You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away” You say “don’t be afraid of change” You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away” You say “we were nothing anyway” Both of us know, both of us know we’re going nowhere. You say “it’s been coming” You say “don’t be afraid of change” You say “it’s been coming” You say “we were nothing anyway” We’re not functional, not functional at all.
3.
You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away” You say “don’t be afraid of change” You say “let’s see how long it takes to fade away” You say “we were nothing anyway” I'm finding out in the worst way that we’re not fine. Everything is speeding up; we’re acclimatised to save time. Your eyes, they keep averting, averting from mine. And I don’t know why we’re growing old together in my mind. Please, please be patient with me. Have some patience please. Please, please be patient with me. Have some patience please. Cos I am kind of all the castles when I'm here. While I'm dreaming, I could show you all the bruises up and down my spine, I could teach you all the ways to drink my spit like poison. Bewildered and sunburnt I make my way to you.

credits

released December 8, 2014

All music written, recorded and mixed by Ethan Silver.

Special thanks to Lewis Chandler for Mastering and for some additional vocal mixing.

Artwork by the talented Sam Hanner, view his work here samhanner.wordpress.com/paintings/

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Ethan Silver Southampton, UK

Thom Wilkinson & George Brooks bewilder.bandcamp.com

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